Monday, December 3, 2012

The 4x Challenge!

It has taken me awhile to figure out what I wanted to do for my follow-up-non-weight-but-still-tangible challenge.

I was trying to do pushups and I got to 25! Yay! Then I realized I could use them as part of my challenge. Then I realised I also wanted to incorporate my marathon training into it. And situps! And Pikes!

So I thought about what I can easily (relatively) do now. I decided that since 10k is the run I like best, and 40k is about a marathon. I would quadruple everything and call it my challenge!

Here it is!

4x Challenge 2012/2013
Pikes: 12 x 4 = 48                                                          Reward: New bathing suit
Pushups: 25 x 4 = 100                                                   Reward: Pedicure!
Situps: 50 x 4 = 200                                                       Reward: Massage at Langdon Hall
Running: 10.5 km x 4 = 42 km                                     Reward: Running in a marathon!

I have until April to get to the distance for running, so I am hoping the cross training will help get me ready for the big day!

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Challenge Complete! (FINALLY!)

Today I have the evidence! Ta da!

This challenge has mostly been about frustration and annoyance for me. I am so glad to be done. 133 was supposed to be my "easy" goal since 130 is my goal in real life. This challenge felt much harder to complete than the one in the spring due to a combination of factors - lack of motivation, parties, medications, carrying more muscle, and only indoor working out.

I was very surprised that it came down to the wire like this, especially after how well the Boost Your Metabolism week went. Looking at the weight loss chart, I realize the amount of effort I put in is the key element (shocker!). Despite all the external factors, when I stopped with all the little cheats, stuck to the workout routine, and (most importantly) went to bed at a reasonable hour (and therefore didn't night snack), which I only did consistently during the first week and last two weeks, I had actual results.

Now as look ahead to maintaining my weight and meeting my new goal - no need to diet in January - I realize motivation and willpower are the key elements (and the hardest to find!). Keeping up the workout routine should be fine. But not falling back into bad snacking habits and learning how to have cheat food in moderation is going to be hard. I always gain back 2 pounds right away after dieting. So I have ease back into "not being on a diet".

New goals:

1. Go to bed at the same time as Moose every night. No after dinner snacking.

2. Finish Body Revolution in a timely manner. (And try to meet my unofficial touch-the-ceiling-while-burpie-ing goal.)

3. Continue to eat new healthy recipes, but carbs are okay for dinner sometimes. Max 1 cheat food per day. Dessert (but not after dinner) or alcohol, never both!

When I am done Body Revolution (3ish weeks) I will assess where I am at and adjust my habits from there. I still want to have a flat stomach someday and not muffin-top out of slim fitting jeans, but I just can't handle trying to lose any more weight right now. That is a problem for the new year!

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Starting to slack off...

I am so sick of chin-ups.  So so so sick of them.  Something about them make my right elbow ache (like it has a headache) and my lower back snap.  Not my best look.

I know that I am biased towards letting myself off the hook.  Because, dude, I'm lazy!  So, I'm offering a compromise.  I am still running and Jillianing and exercising almost every day. I plan on completing my chin-up goal.  I am just going to do fewer days in a week of chin-ups.  I will chin-up on the days that I run.  Give myself a break when I am already working similar muscles with Jillian.

I'm also hoping that cutting back will help my lower back heal a bit.  It's sore enough that I yelped while fetching a pan from the drawer under my stove.  Dude.  I am SO old!

In more interesting news, I am enjoying maintenance.  It agrees with me.  I absolutely find it stressful that I don't know what I should be eating...... or how much cheating is too much.  But I am reveling in the combination of exercise and eating good food.  Yes, I would like the left over meatloaf for a sandwich for lunch! And yes, I would like a very tiny cookie with my coffee in the afternoon.  And yes, I would like eggnog in my latte!!!! Dude!!

The challenge of maintenance remains a rather large learning curve.  With Christmas around the corner, an even bigger challenge.  Not to worry, if I fail at maintenance I can get right back to dieting.  And THAT I understand!

Close Only Counts in Horseshoes and Hand Grenades

This morning I step on the scale. Lo and behold, what do I see? 133.0! I scurry to fetch the camera, step on again, and the scale says... 133.2.

So not funny, scale.

So I try again. And again. And again, and again, and again. 133.2 every single time, dammit, until the scale gets pissed and starts showing 133.6 and then 133.8 out of spite.

Are you freaking kidding me?!

Scale, you can go die in a turkey fire.

Anyway, tomorrow I will be prepared - with the camera - for the first weigh-in. *Fingers crossed!*

The best I could get photographic evidence of. Balls!

Monday, November 26, 2012

The Last Monday

Last week: 135.4lbs
This week: 134.0lbs
Goal: 133lbs

Getting close... 1 pound in 5 sleeps... hopefully with random water weight fluctuations it is possible!

This past week I worked really hard, so I actually feel kinda calm this week. I know I have done everything I can, so as long as I stick to the proper routine, I know the number on the scale is just going to be whatever it's going to be.

I have done Jillian every day and double Jillianed on Friday since it was Moose's birthday and we went out. My eating habits were essentially steel cut oatmeal for breakfast, whole wheat muffin and apple for lunch, greek yogurt with nuts for snack, and beef stew for dinner, with nothing but water to drink.

We hosted a Birthday Eve party on Thursday and I had one goat cheese tartlet, five mini eggs, three meat balls, two chicken fingers, two tostitos with salsa dip, two crackers with cheese, and the rest was roast beef and veggies with hummus. No alcohol and no butter tarts or snack size chocolate bars or brandy beans.

Friday (after double Jillian) I had a pear salad and wild boar ham with cheese/cabbage/almond deep fried ball, ate a few mouthfuls of Moose's dessert, and had two shot glasses of whiskey sour. The deep fried-ness did not agree with my gut which said, "WTF is this? I have no idea how to digest that anymore!" and immediately expelled it. I am very upset I forgot to weight myself the next morning, because right after eating breakfast and drinking a bunch of water I was 135.0 on the scale. I may have missed a challenge ending dip! Gah!

Saturday for Moose's Boxing Birthday I had cheese fondue for dinner (and tried to mostly dip apples and broccoli and ate a lot less bread and chicken peperettes) and a small piece of tart raspberry pie and ice cream for dessert, but I only had oatmeal and yogurt all day and had no alcohol, so I think the calories were maybe in an okay range even if the quality of the food wasn't.

Sunday I only had one piece of french toast and one piece of bacon with a tiny amount of maple syrup for breakfast, and complimented it with greek yogurt and raspberries. I had yogurt and nuts for snack (Jillian would yell at me for double dairying in one day) and roasted chicken with butternut squash soup for dinner.

I am on the last two workouts for Body Revolution. They are hard but very interesting. Can you do pushups in a bridge position? I sure as hell can't! But, I have two and a half weeks left, so hopefully I can do a couple by the end! The last level of cardio video is the most evil thing I have ever done. Jillian claims it is the hardest workout she has ever come up with. I put on a false grin as I must face it every three days...

Friday, November 23, 2012

Exercise Update

My titles need work.  Lisa, you are making me look bad!

Regardless, here is what is up with me.

Jillian: Once.  Yup.  Lamesauce.  I did, however, run almost all the other days.  Except Monday. And Wednesday.  The children infected me with their illness and I just didn't think Jills had my best interests in mind.  Also snotting all over my yoga mat isn't my best look.

Chin-Ups: Every day! Take that, laziness!! (And turns out, Michelle, that all this time I had been doing chin-ups.  I know there are two different kinds of yank-yourself-up-using-a-bar but I get the mixed up all the time!)

 Regardless, as per my lovely photo, I am improving.  Slowly.  However, now that I can do about 20 in three attempts, meeting the goal of 20 consecutively doesn't seem so horrible.  Easy? Hells no, but doableish. (So a word).

Having goals and being accountable seems to be working.  The scale and I remain friends.  The skinny jeans are here to stay.  Hopefully.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Monday = No Fun Day

Last week: 134.8lbs
This week: 135.4lbs
Goal: 133lbs

12 sleeps left. I am so screwed. Please be bloating that is gone by next week!

Thursday, November 15, 2012

The Cycle Ends Here and Now.

I am done.  So very done with my ridiculousness.  The cycle MUST stop.

Here is how it usually goes down:

1. Oh dear! The scale is so rude.
2. Time to diet! Salads and soups and running and Jillian.  GO! GO! GO!
3. I hate dieting. It's so much work.  I miss food.  At least the scale is less mean......
4. Goal achieved! I am amazing! I rock! YAY me!!
5. I love food. We are such good friends.  I deserve this pizza, this candy, this booze, this dessert, these chips.  Hell, even if I'm full or don't even really like junk food, I'm going to eat it.  Because I can.
6. Exercise? Right.  Um, I run sometimes.  But I have so many other things that have been put on hold while I was dieting.  I'm going to do those things.  Get caught up on life! And tv! And napping!

Later, rinse, repeat.  Again and again.

The worst part?  I am an idiot.  I don't want the other half of the pizza.  I don't like chips.  I always prefer running to cleaning.  What the hell is wrong with me??  Just because I'm not actively trying to lose weight doesn't mean I get to be so self indulgent.  Ridiculous.

So I am done.  For good.

This time I am making maintenance goals.  I will be accountable.  I will NOT go on a sugar-fat-carb bender. I don't even LIKE those foods.  Dude.

Maintenance Goals:

1. Exercise.

Because, come on, exercise makes me happy.  I have never wanted to be thin.  I have always wanted to be fit.  What good is being thin if you can't move the furniture?  I love feeling strong.  I know my body.  My left butt muscle is stronger than my right.  My right quad is stronger than my left.  My shoulders are weak but my triceps build muscle quickly.  My abs are great!  Nothing those puppies can't handle. I relish the fluidity that strength brings to my movements.

Exercise 5 times a week.  At least. Running, Jillian, whatever.  For any length of time. Twenty-four minutes of 30 Day Shred? Good times.

2. No Binge Eating.

There is no need.  I don't "deserve" anything.  I am just me, living my life.  Can I order pizza? Sure.  Can I do it all the time? No.  Should I eat the whole thing? Hells NO.  Don't be ridiculous.  Dessert.  Do I like it? Kinda.  Should I eat it? Sometimes.  Should I eat it when I'm already full and don't really like it? NO.  So many times NO.

I need to adjust my attitude.  My food is my fuel.  I feel best when I am eating healthy.  So I should do that.  Not rocket science my friends.

3. Have Something To Work Towards.

I do best with goals.  And consequences.  Even if that consequence is to admit that I have failed.

I am going to pick shorter term and attainable goals.  This is actually harder than it seems.  I'm going to continue to blog to keep me accountable.

Goals #1 and #2:

20 pull ups in a row.

Complete Jillian's Ripped in 30

My plan is to do pull-ups every day (ish) until I can do 20 in a row.  To keep me motivated, I am not allowed to have any alcohol or dessert that day until I have done my pull-ups.  No pull-ups? No fun.

Jillian will take me longer than 30 days because I plan to run on the off days.  If I'm not running, I am Jillianing.

I am not allowed to complain about something unless I am willing to make a change.  I am taking control of my life (again.  As usual!).  This is not allowed to go on any longer.

Wish me luck! I will, of course, keep you posted!

Monday, November 12, 2012

Tell me why? I don't like Mondays...

Last week: 136.4lbs
This week: 134.8lbs
Goal: 133lbs

1.8lbs to lose in 19 sleeps. It is possible!

This past week the scale has settled down a bit, not jumping around like crazy. I'm not sure if my body has started to find equilibrium or if the combination of medications (one with the side effect of constipation and the other with the side effect of diarrhea) has made my gut act normal for a change. We shall see as I go off the second med. I am trying hard not to succumb to the "modest weight gain" side effect of the stupid drugs.

In Jillian news, I have started week 9 of Body Revolution, meaning I am on workouts 9 and 10 and cardio 3. These are definitely the hardest Jillian workouts I have ever done. (With exception to Extreme Shed and Shred which I just did with Krista. They have a lot of the same exercises, so it follows they are about the same level.) I am so sore, as if I've been doing solid weight training. But, I have never enjoyed Jillian more.

The more difficult the exercises get with lots of balancing and doing lower and upper body exercises at the same time, the more interesting it is. It takes a lot of focus to do the moves properly and I never get bored during the workouts or need to watch a show while doing the non-cardio workouts. I really enjoy rotating through three videos and doing something new every two weeks. I'm excited (and afraid) to see what workouts 11 and 12 are like.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Monday Again

Last Week's Weight: 138.8lbs
This Week's Weight: 136.4lbs
Goal Weight: 133lbs

The scale is being a bit more reasonable this week. Still going to be tough to make the challenge deadline, though.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Cleanse Pictures

In case you wanted more. Because dude, you can never get enough of the cleanse!!

Breakfast Day 1.  Yum?

Bottom's up!

Poor Scott.  He didn't know what he was getting into!

Our Frenemy the Juicer.  Making, um, something to "eat".

Layers.  Delicious.

Baba!! Cutest Cleanser. I cannot believe she liked the juices.

Getting worse.  Scott is not tolerating this well......

Rob has collapsed.

Breanna has turned into a lion!!! So so so cold.

Lunch (Dinner?) in my coat.  Yes, I was THAT cold.

And the best picture........................

Ta Da!
Challenge Complete!!!!

Friday, November 2, 2012

Goal Accomplished! And Notes About Cleansing...

So the weight loss from the cleanse looked like this:
Day 1: 130 (eff you bloat)
Day 2: 126 (nice!)
Day 3: 124.4(so close!!!)
Morning after Day 3: 123.4 (which is my absolute favourite number to see on the scale. My favourite time to see on the clock is 12:34 so really I am just plain weird)

The cleanse was exhausting, challenging, and rewarding. I really missed food while I was juicing, but liked knowing exactly what to make to eat.

It was such an adventure buying the groceries! I was the crazy vegetable lady in the grocery store! My cart was F-U-L-L! Of all kinds of things I would never buy. I even got into a sign language fight with an old lady (who did not speak English) over the last of the swiss chard! No! you can't have one! I need all eight! (note : swiss chard is the most disgusting of the cleanse foods. I should have let her take all of them)
                                               Four people. Three days. Fifteen juices!
                                            Fruit and vegetables as far as the eye can see....
Day 1: "Breakfast" No, not the delicious looking mayo. The brightly hued orange slime. Yum.

After completing the challenge, I wouldn't rule it out as a thing I might do again. I liked how full the drinks were. And some were actually delicious. Green Lemonade! I would actually drink that in real life.  Some were nasty (morning snack from day 2 and I are still not on speaking terms)

I would never recommend doing it alone. Team camaraderie is what got me through most of the days. It was great, truly. There are so few difficult things you do in life that others share with you in the exact same way. Having people who understood how hard it was and how proud you were of your self was amazing. Doing it alone would not be as rewarding. I am not only proud of myself but of my teammates!

It has given me a new appreciation of food. Breakfast was underwhelming. After spending days anticipating the first bite, it was meh. (we had egg mcmuffins, which I normally love). I find myself wondering where the flavour is! The juices were so vibrant - you could really taste all the ingredients (sometimes that was a bad thing - evil evil swiss chard). The other thing I found, was that because the flavours were so strong, you really took the time to focus on your food. So even though it was just a drink, you really had a chance to experience all the different tastes of the ingredients.

It was exhausting. I have never been so snappy in my life. I am glad that is over.

                                        Ginger, lemon and hot water. Cleansers best friend!
          Breakfast Day 3: trying the theory that everything tastes better in a martini glass.
                                                                     Bottoms Up!
                                                           Finished product!
March vs. November

All in all, it was an experience I will never forget. I am glad I did it just as much as I am glad it is over!

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Cleanse Day 3: Next up - DORITOS!!

It's done, it's done, it's done!!

The things I have learned:

1. Juice can be yucky.  And make you barf (Breanna! And almost Scott!).

2. When you drink all your meals through a straw your teeth stay very clean.  Bonus!

3. Running while cleansing just might be the stupidest idea ever.  There is certainly no eating disorder in my future.

4. Cleanse dishwashers, water bottles and poo all smell like The Cleanse.  I'm not even certain from where exactly that smell originates.  Some pureed something or other.

5. I am so very glad to be me.

Thus far I have been:
a) Scott
I found myself driving to the doctor and having missed my turn.  It was as if I had just "woken up" father along Ira Needles than I had planned.  I think I was on auto pilot to my mother's house.

b) Lisa
Cold.  So frickin' cold, all the time.  It's AWFUL. I never really understood the evils of permafrostiness until this week.  The LAYERS.  Oh the layers I had to wear.  Always bulky, never slimming.  The whole freezing-inside-for-no-reason was awful.  I can't believe Lisa has to do this every winter.  <Shudder>

c) Grumpy Person
I think I was just like normal people.  It was odd.  I didn't say hello to strangers.  I didn't hum to myself.  I didn't twirl for no reason.  I just didn't have the energy.  I miss being happy.  Like real happy.  Not the cleanse version of happy when I am happy because I am lying down.  Anywhere.

d) Anorexic Person
Horrible! Awful! Terrible! I cannot believe that people can live like this.  I am pretty convinced that between the cleanse and the run I was negative calories for the day.  Not a goal of mine.  Bad, bad plan.  It feels almost like you're drunk and trying to keep it a secret.  Woozy and off.  Not a fan.  Not one time.  I cannot CANNOT imagine feeling compelled to behave in this manner.  Not for the flattest stomach in the world would I make this my lifestyle.

6. Breanna might just be the most organized person in the whole world.  No seriously.  I may have been the person who dreamt up the idiot plan but Breanna was the driving force in making it happen.  She researched, she planned, she shopped and she juiced.  It boggles my mind how much she can get done.  (Breanna, you are AMAZING!!!).

7. Scott is lame. Normally he surprises me with his stick-to it attitude. The man loves to take on crazy and win! This time? Not so much.  Maybe he just had more toxins to purge......!!!! (Scott doesn't believe in toxins.) Regardless, he had a lot of trouble forcing himself to drink the juice.  More so than the rest of us.

8. I am not nearly as addicted to coffee as I thought I was.

9. Side benefit: The cleanse makes you SO excited for everyday eating.  I am in love with food again.  I can't  believe I ever took chewing my meals for granted!

And I think that is that.

The Cleanse wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Nevertheless I am fairly certain that I will never do one again.  Fairly.  Never say never, y'know! 

Body Image

In elementary school, I had a classmate named Jessica Sachse. It was hard to have a conversation with her and not think about her physical disability, despite the fact that she is a very intelligent person with many artistic interests similar to my own.

I have not talked to Jes since high school, but a couple of years ago I read an article about her in The Star called This Isn't an American Apparel Ad. She posed for a series of ads that ran on TTC monitors to "challenge conventional notions of sexiness."

I discovered Jes has also posed naked as a way to explore herself and see what everyone is looking at when they stare at her. She has a very insightful short video called Body Image posted here (or with an analysis posted here) that explains her thoughts and feelings on her disfigured body.

What follows may sound like a lesson that is learned in an after-school special, and I don't want to come off as preachy, but in truth it is important to sometimes step back and think about where your thoughts and feelings come from when assessing your own body.

Especially when we are dieting and exercising and trying to improve ourselves as much as possible, we (or at least I do) can fall into the mentality of "no matter how hard I work I am never sexy enough, can never get my body to match the ideal in my head". But we have to remember that almost all of our ideals come from current popular culture's unattainable idea that beauty is a godly standard of perfection.

The point of dieting and exercising is to be healthy, fit, and happy, to feel good about yourself according to your own standards. It is not about trying to win a beauty contest.

Imagine how you would feel if your body was too different to even compete with conventional ideas of beauty. Then what would you think of yourself? Where would your self-confidence come from? Like Jes, I'm sure we would focus a lot more on intellectual pursuits and think of our body as simply a vehicle to get our mind from one life experience to another.

I'll admit, I'm glad I'm attractive and that other people think so. Life is easier when you visually fit in to the accepted norm and people treat you nicely because of it. But being glad you're beautiful and being obsessed with being seen as beautiful are two different things. It's helpful to be reminded by people like Jes where the boundary is and which mentality will actually make you happy.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Cleanse Day 2

Morning weigh-in: 134 lbs
Bedtime weigh-in: 132 lbs

The cleanse is working!


I am not experiencing the cleanse in the way I thought that I would.  No purging.  No emergency bathroom trips.  Nada.

I am experiencing hunger.  And grumpiness.  Oh the great grumpiness.

I love my children but they are making me crazy!!!!! I'm sure that it's not their fault.  It can't be.  Unless they have been swapped for mischievous doppelgangers.  It must be the cleanse.

I am so ready to be done.  I miss salt.  More than caffeine.  More than alcohol.  More than fat or protein or sugar. Oh salt, you are my best friend.  You are my hero. You make all food better!  Come baaaaaack!!!

I had an accidental nap this afternoon.  Cleansing is exhausting.

Two down, one to go!

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Cleanse Day 1 (and a weigh-in)

Monday's weight: 135 (WHAT THE F**K OFF?!?!?)
Tuesday's weight: 136 (You have GOT to be kidding me)

It seems as though I am starting my cleanse back at my starting weight.  Really now.

I'm almost positive the weight gain isn't an actual weight gain.  More of a bloat disaster.  It's Premenstrual Hell Week y'know.

Regardless, it's CLEANSE DAY!!!

Day 1 has been an experience. I drank some things I didn't even know were vegetables in their previous life. I gagged on many a meal.  MANY.

The Good:

I'm not all that hungry
I don't miss food.  No.  Wait.  I do miss food.  I just don't miss it like I thought I would.
Coffee? Shmoffee.  Didn't miss it today.  Ok, only a little.

The Bad:

Cranky.  So much cranky.  The poor children.  Patience left with solid food.  Damn she's fickle!
Slight headache.  Minor but irritating.
I am SO cold.  SO cold. Very very weird.

The Ugly:

Sad sad sick Scott.  Barf bucket sick. The cleanse does not like Scott very much.

The Best:

Spending so much time with Robert and Breanna.

Honestly, suffering together is kinda fun.  It's going to be one of those things that I will never do again but will always remember fondly.  Nothing forges you together like a ridiculous challenge.

Quote of the Day:

From the bathroom

Scott: Aaaahhhhhh

At the kitchen table

Breanna to Krista: Do you want to go check on him?? (insert worried frown)

Krista: Yeeeaahhh......

From the bathroom:

Scott: No! I'm ok! My poo just smells like juice!!! EW!!! 

(Which of course made him gag.  Double ew.)

I suspect Day 2 is going to be a whole hell of a lot worse than Day 1.  At least I can take heart that by lunch time the whole darn thing will be half over!

Monday, October 29, 2012

Monday of Shame

Last week's weigh-in: 135.0lbs
This week's weigh-in: 138.8lbs
Goal weight: 133lbs

So I am not entirely sure what is up (other than my weight). One would think The Weekend of Crazy Candy Consumption would be to blame (and it certainly was a dieting setback), but last week I was already at 138lbs on Thursday, which means less than a pound of change over the weekend. Bloating should no longer be a factor. Perhaps the new medication I am taking is affecting things?

Honestly, it sucks, but I'm also willing just to wait it out and see if it goes back down. My clothes don't fit as if I've gained four pounds, they are still looser than when I started the challenge. All I can really do is try and be hard-core about my diet and exercise.


Weigh -in: 127.8 - darn you bloat! I wish I was still oblivious to your presence as I was for so many happy years!

I have a few pre-cleanse predictions:

First to get grumpy: Robert
Last to get grumpy: Krista
First to cry: Breanna
First to Puke: Scott ( anyone remember the running goo?)

Monday, October 22, 2012

Challenge Complete!

In happier (less whiny) news, I have completed my push-up challenge!!!

Never under estimate my desire to prove myself post fight-with-my-husband!!!

First set: 26
Second set: 15
Third set: 10

Total: 51

I went over by rote.  I forgot that I was done.  Whoops.

I should have timed myself between sets.  There were less than a minute apart.  Just enough time to curse and send the blood scurrying around my body looking for more oxygen.

I may never lift anything again, but it's done. 

I haven't been training outright for this challenge.  I have, however, been Jillian-ing.  And as everyone knows, it's her favourite strength exercise.  How could I not improve?!

Two down, one to go!!

Fat. Fatty fat fat.

I know better than to blog when I am emotional.  I do.  But sometimes I like to ignore that little voice in my head telling me that I should be reasonable.  Because I can.

This week's weight: 134lbs
Goal weight: 130lbs

The weight is still a goal.  Because, according to my very lovely husband "you still have weight you could lose".  Which, he did clarify to say, meant that I am not yet anorexic (actually, the term he used was "growing fur" but I made the leap.).

I know what he's trying to say.  Scott is telling me that:

a) I knew what I was getting into
b) I am disrespecting the integrity of the challenge

But what I hear is that I'm fat.


I know better.  I know that I'm not fat.  My head understands that weight doesn't matter, it's how I feel about my body.  It's that I feel strong and healthy.

My self esteem still hears it.  The dreaded "F" word. 

He didn't tell me I'm fat.  Not exactly.  He went so far as to preface his comments with "I'm not saying that you're fat".  Regardless, hearing the words "You have weight to lose" and "You should keep on losing weight" hurt.  A lot.

It doesn't matter how many time HE tells me that it's not what he was saying.  It doesn't matter how many times I tell myself that that isn't what he was saying.  The echo of the feeling resonates through me.

fat, fat, fat, fat, fat.

I work so hard and (usually) feel so good about myself.  A lot of my healthy body image is comes from the knowledge that Scott finds me attractive.  Well, that, and shopping for clothes!

So, what am I going to do about it?

What? You mean I can't just complain about a problem? I actually need to fix this frickin' mess?


First: I'm going to cry until I feel better.

Second: Diet, diet, diet! And go.

Third: Prioritize.  Make the time, every day, for my diet.  Too frickin' bad if it gets in the way of laundry or dishes.  You wanted me to do this?  I will. (Implied: So there!)

Fourth: If I don't make it, then I don't make it.  Missing one year of drinking at Christmas won't kill me.  I can dd everyone everywhere.  I won't tell anyone why I can't drink and let them think I'm pregnant.

Pity party over.  Mostly.

Monday is Finally Monday Again!

Last week's weigh-in: 136.6lbs
This week's weigh-in: 135.0lbs
Goal weight: 133lbs

Not too bad considering the weekend, although the overall trend over the last 2-3 weeks has been a stable line. Once I have de-bloated by next week, hopefully I will be close to the end of the challenge! (Although Krista's birthday weekend is coming up... better make sure to weigh myself Friday morning!)

I still want to meet my weight goal, so I will not be swapping it out for an exercise goal like we talked about, but I'm totally cool if that's what you guys want to do. I will add a little unofficial exercise goal though just to move some of the focus off the dreaded scale number - I want to be able to touch the ceiling when I do the jump part of burpies. I think I'm about two inches away at this point. (I think our ceilings are 9 feet high).

Unexpected side-effect of Jillian - I am a better dancer! Okay, maybe not better (because I still probably look like a fish out of water having a seizure) but I can do way more jumping and twisting and squatting type moves and not get tired on the dance floor - wearing 3 inch heels! Woo!

Monday weigh-in


thanks to an unfortunate stomach bug but at this point I guess I'll have to take it.

Monday weigh-in


thanks to an unfortunate stomach bug but at this point I guess I'll have to take it.

Friday, October 19, 2012

In Which I Do Not Wax Poetic About My Weight...

But instead share a delicious lunch recipe!

I just ate this - it is a modified Super tuna. But I was getting tired of tuna. SO!

Egg Salad -Salad:

Combine : 2 hard boiled eggs, fresh dill, finely chopped celery and green onion, cucumber and 2Tbsp of Mayo

Place on top of bed of chopped baby spinach and green beans ( I used the marvelous ones from Costco. They have no equal short of homegrown)


I figured since I split the egg salad portion with the baby, it was okay to put in a lot of mayo!
It really didn't even taste like "egg salad" since it was so very crunchy. I am in love with this. So yummy!

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

I think Sunday should have been the new Monday!

Dammit! My friend frienemy the scale needs to go to hell and die. 

Sunday morning: 134lbs
Monday morning: 137lbs
Tuesday morning: 135lbs (after breakfast)

It seems as though I am losing weight.  I feel hungry enough that I should be losing weight.  Sadly, it doesn't always work that way.  Next week should help determine if there is a downward trend.

The good news (when you are an optimist there is always good news!) is that I have been sincerely enjoying getting back together with Jillian.  She is my friend.  Always yelling at me to do that one last push-up, hold that idiot squat for 5 more seconds.

I love feeling strong.  Thanks for that Jills.

Oh! And there's more! I'm not yet tired of salad(s) and soup(s).  The dieters bread and butter, those two. 

Finally, my jeans fit better.  Fat jeans, you are OUT!  Skinny jeans, get ready, I'm coming for you!

Monday Should Have Been the New Tuesday

Last week's weigh-in: 135.4lbs
This week's weigh-in: 136.6lbs
Goal weight: 133lbs

Balls. Although this is up almost a pound from yesterday, so hopefully it is a bit of a spike anomaly in one way or an other.

Clearly, I have not been working very hard. It is so easy to fall back into old habits! Motivation, where did you go? Although when I do get around to doing Jillian, I am enjoying the harder Body Revolution workouts. All the tricky balancing and jumping keeps my focus and makes the time go by a (tiny) bit faster.

Oh well, time to buckle down and see some progress before ruining it all at Krista's birthday celebrations :)

Monday, October 15, 2012

Monday - Update!

Good Morning!

There is lots to talk about today. I got my x-ray results back - no fracture!!! So I am almost 3 weeks into rest, and it is so.much.better. I almost feel like I could run on it. Soon. I just know it!

I weighed in yesterday afternoon instead of last night - good thing too since we had a birthday dinner for my brother and chicken piccata and pumpkin cheesecake brownies are so not diet food. But so worth it - omg you guys they were delicious!!!

Weight: 127.2
Goal: 124
Pounds to go: 3.2

So close! It is the frustrating part where you can see the goal is soclose and yet still S O  F A R away.  Even if I can manage to lose a pound a week (yeah right) it is still 3 weeks of torture.

I have learned that although it is a good way to measure overall change, the trying to hit a certain weight goal is stupid. At least for me. It does keep me motivated but I really could care less about the actual number on the scale. I care most about how strong I feel, and how my clothes fit properly. No weight goal next time - someone remind me!!!

I am loving the No More Trouble Zones Jillian workout. I can do all but a few of the exercises ( surrenders, and the plank twists) but there is no problem just subbing in something else while they do those couple of things. This is the first time I have tried a new workout and have been able to not only keep up, but enjoy it. Usually I am practically dying or falling over ( due to lack of fitness and overall clumsiness). But I can keep up and have already gone up to a heavier weight for a bunch of the moves! So yay Jillian!

On an unrelated note - I am a sneaky soup genius. My kids think they only like canned tomato soup (okay in a pinch but really? homemade is sooooooo much better!) So I served then minestrone, and the claimed it was yucky. Then! I blended it up, added a drop of cream et voila! They ate it. Haha children I am smarter than you (at least for now!)

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Delicious Mayo-less Chicken Salad

I ate this on a bed of baby spinach. Yum! Go Jillian recipes!


If Tuesday is the new Monday, what does that make Wednesday?

Weekly update time

Starting Weight: 141lbs
Goal Weight: 130lbs
Last Week's Weight: 139lbs
Current Weight: 135lbs

The great swing up in weight has an explanation.  Seriously.  Because I didn't gain 3lbs and then lose 4lbs this past week. 

My dearest Aunt Flo paid me a visit on Tuesday and whisked away all the lovely water I have been carrying around with me. In my body!

It occurred to me (and by "it occurred to me" I really mean "Scott pointed it out") that I am screwed.  So. Very. Screwed.  I have 7.5 weeks to lose the remaining weight.  That's it.  Five pounds in less than 2 months.

And if you consider that my birthday is a short 2 and a half weeks away, AND that I don't have any intention of spending my birthday hungry and sweaty, it actually means that I have 6.5 weeks to lose 5lbs.


Alright.  So what does that mean for me?

1. Exercise.  Every single freaking day.
2. No more cheating.  For real this time.
3. Only 1 day a week of drinking.  Oh, alcohol, I will miss you.
4. Water, water and more water.

It's not that I don't love to exercise.  Honestly, I do.  It makes me happy and it makes me feel strong.  One of my favourite activities. What I dislike is feeling like I HAVE to.

Welcome to my bossy personality!

Tell me that I can do something if I want to?  
Suuuuuure! Sounds great!!

Tell me that I HAVE to do something?
Oh hell no! You think YOU can make me do something?!?! Good luck with that one.

To add to this ridiculousness is that I am telling myself that I have to do something.  Clearly I need to consult Scott on methods of Krista Manipulation!

Is it possible to meet my goal? Yes.  Is it even probable? Yes.  Is it going to be a rough 7.5 weeks? Goodness me, YES.

Here we go..... for reals this time!

Running Song of the Week

This isn't new.  But it is one of my favourites.  I never (ever!) skip it when it's soothing melody floats over my earbuds.  Makes me happy. Enjoy!

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

If No News Was Good News, I Would have Nothing to Say

Which is my roundabout way of saying I have nothing good to report.

A quick trip to the doctor has resulted in the following:

- a theory I have strained a tendon = 6 week recovery
- a possibility I have fractured my fibula = 6 week recovery
- an x-ray req. to check which stellar option I have won
- a prescription for Naproxen, to help with healing and inflammation = no alcohol for 2 weeks.

Ya, you read that right. I am paying 1/2 the consequence in advance even though I haven't failed yet! What the what? It should however, help me to lose the rest of the weight and then I can be done this silly endeavor.

I have modified my exercise, since I can't really use my right hand ( see post about my springtime stupidity), and now can't use my right ankle. So I do a lot of abs. Let's hope they are awesome soon!

On the plus side (or minus side?) I am down to 128.4lbs - only 4.4 lbs to go!

I have every intention of running again. As soon as I can roll over in bed, or make it up the stairs without wincing. You should hear the story about how I tripped over a fan carrying the baby in the dark, and then couldn't get back up. Or not. It's kind of depressing...

Tuesday is the New Monday

Last week's weigh-in: 135.6lbs
This week's weigh-in: 135.4lbs
Goal weight: 133lbs

I'm not really sure if the lack of change is my failure to properly encorporate the new meal plan rules into my diet or because of Thanksgiving weekend which included four less-than-ideal meals. I did avoid all alcohol though, to many comments of "Why aren't you drinking?" and "It's Thanksgiving dinner, I wouldn't ruin it by drinking water instead of wine."

Also, when I brought up the fact that I am trying to eat more whole foods and being strict with my diet to lose what I've recently gained and learn to maintain my weight, all I met was criticism. "You shouldn't be dieting, you're already too skinny." "You have no fat to lose." "It's unhealthy to be too thin." et cetera. I even got eye rolls when I said one reason we were late was because I exercised that morning.

Screw you people, I'm going home.

I know most of it is misunderstanding - of course when I wear flattering clothing and am clearly the thinnest person in the room it looks like I am the last person who should be dieting. A big part of it is them justifying their own guilt for not bettering their own body like they wish they could. But, as Moose said, it would be nice to just once get the response of, "Yeah, it is hard work to maintain a nice figure. Good for you for trying to eat healthier and keep fit."

Oh well. It's my life, not theirs. I will simply continue on my way and feel good for "winning" at every family event.

Monday, October 8, 2012

They call it a Challenge.....

 Because if it was easy they would call it FUN!

I didn't mean to complete my 100km in a week this week.  It was an accident.  I had an "ah ha!' moment on day 4 (running a million km down Benjamin against the wind will do that to you) that if I could keep going at this rate I would complete the challenge.  Huh.  Gotta love doing half the work before you know what you're in for!

It didn't go as I had planned (does anything? ever?).  I had GREAT plans. I was going to run to end the challenge on my birthday.  On the days Henry was home from school I was going to run 10 km in the morning and then another 5 km in the evening.  I would run 15 km on my own the other days of the week. When I got to the last day (my birthday!), I would only have 10km left to do! I would breeze through it! I would line up running partners to help me along! I would take pictures! It would be amazing!!!

Instead? By accident? Seriously?

Here's the breakdown.  I'm very sure that no one cares about my routes or my distances.  Too bad! It was hard and you should be in awe! Also, I like that I will be able to look back and wax poetic regarding my athleticism.

Run #1 (14.4 km) Tuesday October 2 2012

This was ridiculous.  Scott decided that we should have a "date" and walk on our run to Sandvine.  And hold hands.  And chat.  Hence the weird gap in my should-be-a-loop. I didn't count the distance we walked.  I feel as though I could have.  If I had to walk mid-run, I would count that distance.  Regardless, I feel if I'm going to finish a challenge I should do it clean, therefore the aforementioned gap.  It was a really really nice run.  Pre-knowing-I-was-completing-the-challenge and just for fun. 

Run #2 (10.1 km) Wednesday October 3 2012

This was a run in the rain.  I inhaled a raindrop right up my nose.  That was incredibly unpleasant!! Snorting water isn't my best choice.  This is my usual 10km route.  It's the best run of this distance around our house.  Only one big hill, lots of countryside views and I can always cut it short to 7km if I'm feeling lazy!

Run #3 (15.3 km) Thursday October 4 2012

I love love love this run.  To Sandvine with Scott.  Stop and chat (and kiss goodbye despite the sweaty-ness). Run 10 km home.  I never feel overwhelmed by the distance and have company for 1/3 of the way.  Win win!

Run #4 (16.5km) Friday October 5 2012

Omg, the evil Benjamin run.  The wind is always intense on the longest stretch (down Benjamin past the tree farm) of this loop.  So intense that when the wind broke briefly, I almost fell on my face for pushing too far forward.  Ridiculous. This is when I realized I could complete my 100km if I kept up this pace.  Only three days left! I could do it! It's even a long weekend.  No problem.

Ha! Sometimes I am such an idiot.

Run #5 (15.8 km) Saturday October 6 2012

I picked this route to avoid Benjamin.  No, seriously.  The wind and the long long long-ness of it was too much to contemplate when I was that tired.  So tired.  And hungry.  Running is hard.  And then I had to run the loop backwards to avoid Whore Hill.  That IS really (and truly) it's name.  I get to go down on Whore Hill.  (Always funny!) instead of up.  Gravity is friendly when it's on your side. 

Run #6 (15.8 km) Sunday October 8 2012

Worst. Run. Of. My. Life. 

Worse than the time I hurt my hip and cried all the way home. 

Worse than the time my ibs acted up and I had to run so very slowly to avoid pooping myself. 

Worse than the time I did almost poop myself and instead headed off road and shit in the snow.  The snow melted and the shit steamed.

Worse than the time I had to stop at the gas station and cried to the man that I didn't have any money but could I please use the facilities.  

I take it that you get the picture.  It was cold.  It was pouring rain.  And I was tired.  So tired.  My legs felt like lead.  My body hurt.  I whimpered my way through the run.  I had to talk myself up the hills (it's ok it's ok it's ok it's ok it's ok.....).  For a while I thought I had hurt my knees.  Every time I took a step there was a horrible cold needle pain.  Oh no! How could I complete the challenge?

Until I realized that it wasn't an injury, it was my knees driving into the rain! I am so dumb sometimes!

I called Scott on Bisch to ask him to run me a bath.  I needed something to look forward to when I finally made it home.

Best Husband Ever had the bath ready, rotated the tv (so I could see it from the bath!) and brought me towel so I could dry my hands to use the remote.  I have never loved him more.

Run #7 (15.8 km) Monday October 9 2012

Same route. Much better experience!

It was probabably the 10.5 hours of sleep and the extra meal I ate before bed!

Poor Scott! I dragged him downstairs at 11:30pm  (after we were all tucked in!) to make me some food!! Secret extra meal! After turkey deliciousness. My poor body is so confused with all of the running.

Regardless, the food, the sleep and the running partner (yay Scott!!) made my final 16km a non-horrible experience.

It is a miracle that I am not injured.  The worst of it was a tiny cut on one of my toes.  I know, poor me!

I am so proud.  The total for the week comes to 103.7 km.  I feel as though marathon training is possible.  This is almost 2.5 marathons for the week.  Running a full one isn't outside the realm of possibility!!!

What have I learned? 

1. Running is hard.  I am exhausted.
2. Running is hungry.  I am always hungry.
3.  I have a very supportive husband.  Scott rocks.
4. My body is robust.  While tired and hungry, there is nothing else wrong with me.
5. I like running even when I hate it.  The only time I felt well on Saturday is when I was out and running.
6. No one else cares about running.  I told everyone I know that I was headed towards 100 km this week.  It wasn't relevant to pretty much anyone! Which is fair.  I don't really care how far anyone else can skate/swim/ski/power walk. 
7. I would rather watch poker on tv than run in the cold rain.  Lame.

Best part? I will never have to do it again if I don't want to!!!!!

One challenge down, two to go!

Monday, October 1, 2012

Monday...dun dun dunnnnn...

Starting weight: 134.5
Today's weight: 129.5
Goal weight: 124.0
Pounds to go: 6.5

So last week I managed to get back on track simply by eating very healthy and not snacking. At all. Ask my kids how much fun that was for them. Actually, do us all a favour and don't!
But! It did make me realize how much leeway I give myself when I exercise. Oh sure I can eat that - I will just run it off later! Or not. So that was a good lesson. This week I am hoping to start back up running and yoga and Jillian, ankle permitting. It still hurts but not nearly as bad.

Side note: I do not consider myself a wuss. I never take sick days ( 2 in 5 years!), I don't let myself feel sorry for myself and I really don't like not being able to do things. Frig, I was walking around hours after giving birth. But I cannot believe how much this hurts! I actually with there was a bruise, or swelling or SOMETHING!!!! so I don't feel like such a ninny. GAH. I also hate. hate. hate. feeling like I am letting someone down in a commitment. SO I am getting back in my (NEW!!!) shoes and getting out there!

Goal update:
Run 10 k 
Run 15k
Run 20 k - God I hope so!! Maybe in 3 weeks?????
Get back to doing pushups - 25 in a row - ummm. So my hand is still really sore. I can do about 3-5 then it feels like my right thumb is going to explode. Working on it. Doubt I will get there :(
No more night-time snacking!  My secret is to have Rob watch me or eat dinner late and go to bed early. I know it's kind of cheating but i haven't snacked in weeks!!!!!
Make at least 3/4 of the Christmas gifts I give this year- I have a plan - it should get underway once I finish Halloween costumes!
Continue ( okay start) training for a marathon.- working on getting back at it :)

Weekly Weigh-In (#1)

Last week's weigh-in: 141.8lbs
This week's weigh-in: 135.6lbs
Goal weight: 133lbs

Let me start by saying this drop definitely includes bloating, which is usually about 2lbs for me. Even still, 4.2 pounds is a lot in one week. So what happened?

Well, remember my first post where I was all whiny and frustrated with dieting? Yeah, before this past week I had no motivation to diet and was sick of a lot of my diet foods. So I let myself eat whatever I wanted, because if dieting was going to make me miserable and I didn't care about my weight, what was the point? I ate McDonald's fries, Blizzards, chocolate, chip truck poutine, brownies, and pie. And it didn't make me feel better. At all.

Then Moose's family came up for the weekend. I ate okay but still had dessert and alcohol. Moose's mom looked at a recent picture of us on a phone and asked "Who's the pregnant woman?"


I jokingly said, "Well, now I know it's really time to diet." But at that moment, I was suddenly motivated again. (She also thought Moose was some random Asian guy, so I can't be TOO offended.)

So, how to change my diet foods. Well, I have this handy recipe booklet from Jillian that goes along with the Body Revolution workouts. Week 1: Boost Your Metabolism. For one week, eat no flour, sugar, or fruit. NO prepackaged, fake foods. Follow her simple recipes for egg breakfasts, soup or salad lunches, yogurt or hummus snacks, and meat and vegetable dinners. Okay, I can do that.

Obviously, I had good results. I'm a bad test case though, because I made a lot of substitutions for the fish and vegetables I don't like. But I followed the recipes in spirit, didn't cheat, and did so-so on the exercise part. She warned that you may be tired and headache-y from the sudden lack of sugars and carbs. Yes I was, but was that from the food or my sleeping disorder and menstruation side-effects? Who knows.

Anyway, this was a successful start to dieting. I am a little worried about moving into a broader range of food again. I plan to mix Jillian meals with my old diet food. Jillian's meals for the rest of the 90 days are much less strict, but I'm a really picky eater, especially with the dinners. Hopefully I don't fall into my old habits - too many carbs and sweet fruits, not enough variety in meat and vegetables. But my shopping list is nearly unrecognizable, so it looks like a good start!

Wednesday, September 26, 2012


I always wanted to be an A+ student...

And now I know I am - even as an adult!!!

I need this on a recipe card!

Pretty sweet eh? So many delicious things and now we can know which are smart choices too ;)

Weekly update

So last week happened. And sucked. And I ate my way through it. This means I am sitting at a lovely 131lbs on Sunday Night.

Boo. Must get back on track Self! I said, to myself. So I tried to run a "fast" 10km last night. I made it 1km before my right ankle started to hurt. It had hurt at about 8km? on the long run on Sunday so I thought I would just run to 5 and then be fine to carry on. Turns out no. The darn thing is Skotted right up. At 2.5 km I called Rob because I couldn't even walk without looking like a gimp.

Today was ice, rest (ha! I have three little kids!) and take it easy. I need to go get new shoes. and a tensor bandage. I will get better! But today I was seriously bummed.

It's Weekly Update time!

Except, actually, it's past weekly update time.  Because today is Wednesday.  Not Monday.  But dude, I'm BUSY.  So very busy.  You have no idea.

Fine.  You do have an idea because the only people reading this are up on my life and it's insane details.  So you get it!!  Hurrah!!

Starting weight: 141lbs
Last week's weight: 136lbs
This week's weight: 136lbs

Because I suck.

Between the funeral, the memorial, house guests, out of town relatives (Steven and Michelle, I'm looking at you!), I cut myself some slack.  A lot of slack.  I rock that way.

But, hey! I didn't gain weight.  AND my period is due anysecondnow (my bloating and my acne are a dead give away.  And my crazy! Can't forget the crazy!).  Also, the scale was nicer to me on Tuesday.  Hopefully next week will be better.

Honestly, I don't care.  A couple of bad weeks are no big deal in the long run.  I will fix it. It will get better.  I will find that wagon and jump right back on.

Take that diet!

Monday, September 17, 2012

Low Calorie Homemade Ranch Salad Dressing

I was looking for a new salad dressing recipe. A creamy one. Something delicious.

And here it is!

Ranch Dressing 

1/4 cup buttermilk
1/4 cup light mayonnaise (I actually did use the light mayo. Even though I think it's evil)
1/4 cup low fat sour cream (ditto on the sour cream)
2 tbsp water
1 tbsp minced shallot or red onion
1 tbsp fresh cilantro (I did NOT use this. Yuck!)
1 tbsp fresh lemon juice (I didn't have any lemons. So lime juice it was!)
2 tsp minced fresh dill (um, again, no fresh dill. Dried went in.)
1/2 tsp garlic powder (would you believe I only had fresh garlic. 1 clove, pressed.)
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper
Pinch cayenne pepper

Whisk all the ingredients together (I used a measuring cup) until smooth.

And guess who ate it???? SCOTT!!! I know. Ridiculous!!!!!

It turned out well. Despite my substitutions. The fresh dill would have made it better but in a pinch the dried stuff was good.


Only 30 calories for 2 tablespoons.

Yes, that would be 1/2 the calories for typical oil and vinegar dressings.

Like I said, enjoy!

It's Monday. Time for an Update!

Starting weight: 141
Saturday's weight: 136
Goal weight: 130
Pounds to go: 6

Still.  I didn't bother to weigh myself Sunday and I forgot to weigh myself this morning.  No seriously, Scott brought coffee and smoothie to wake me up this morning and I didn't hop up and run to the bathroom scale before indulging.  See.... it can happen!!

On the plus side, this week I ran a whopping 54km.  Of course, I have managed to hurt my foot (what? huh? NOOOOO!!!) and am heading to the doctor tomorrow to ensure that it isn't a stress fracture.  Fingers crossed Dr. Let's Check Everything says that I'm ok to keep running.

I was originally planning to post that one of my goals was to ban alcohol this week.  And then I remembered that we have out of town guests.  People, I am going to need to drink.  Next week.  Next week I will be better.  This week I will exercise my ass off (hopefully literally) to compensate for the extra calories.  I promise!

Running Song of the Week:

Makes me happy.  Every time.

Weekly update

Starting weight: 134.5
Today's weight: 129.6
Goal weight: 124.0
Pounds to go: 5.6

This week I upped my running to 30k. Yay!

I also did a bunch of Jillian yoga, and am noticing it is getting easier, so maybe I will buy the DVD so I can do level 2.

Dieting was slow, and painful. I caved a lot. This week I will be better! (to be honest, making cookies for Bryan after school like a "Good Mother" is part of the problem. Must find a recipe I don't like.)

This post is lame. Oh well. Too tired to be witty today :)

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Starting the Diet - AGAIN

My rule is when I hit 140 on the scale, I have to diet. No choice, sucka. Not allowed to go up a pant size ever again.

I hit 140lbs in June. I "started" dieting several times. I did not lose any weight. Finally I had two successful weeks of dieting before camping. Then I gained back what I lost. I hit 142 point something after camping.

Finally, two weeks after camping, the real dieting started again.

My official goal is 133lbs. It is an "easy" and simple goal. I don't have the drive to do the hard goal like in the spring.

I am using Jillian Michael's Body Revolution to help me achieve this goal, as well as rock climbing and biking (for as long as weather permits). I can't decide whether to try following Jillian's meal plan or not. So many foods I don't like... (fish, vegetables!) I don't know if I could do it. But my diet food probably needs a reboot.

My unofficial goals need work. They are not easily measurable and seemingly unattainable. Those are pretty bad qualities for goals.

#1: 130lbs (and stay there!).
I hit it once, for about 3 days. It was so hard, and I felt like the only way to maintain it was to make dieting my forever way of eating (no junk or booze, ever). But any higher than this and I feel like I still need to lose weight.

#2: Have a flat stomach.
I was at 130lbs. I finished Jillian's Six Weeks Six Pack (even did levels 1&2 back to back). I could feel all the muscles (and still can!), but I still didn't have a flat stomach. What else to do? Is it simply not possible?

#3: Stop needing to diet 1 month after finishing dieting.
Every time I diet, I immediately gain back 2 lbs the week after I finish because I can't help gorging. Then I slowly gain weight for the next couple months and hit my max weight again. Then I need to diet. AGAIN. I am so sick of constantly needing to diet, of every family event saying, "Yeah, I'm dieting again."

When I gain weight after a weekend of indulgence or a vacation, I want to lose the weight right away and get back to my goal weight. After a vacation, Moose simply doesn't indulge (but doesn't eat diet food) and falls back to his previous weight. If I go back to consistent healthy-ish foods and exercise, I will simply maintain my new weight. How do I fix my body's metabolism? How do I reset my body's comfortable weight? Is the only option dieting for a week after one day of drinking or dessert? That's still constant dieting!

Hurumph I say. 

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Natural Consequences

Oh the shame. 

Question: What happens when you spend 2 months eating whatever you want, drinking on a whim and not excercising?  Not even one iota?

Answer: A cruel relationship with your bathroom scale.

I hit my highest weight this summer in, um, ever.  Ok, fine, so that's a bald face lie.  I hit my highest weight since losing all the baby weight.  Four years ago. 


Clearly a weight loss blog was just what I needed (thank you Breanna!).


1. Lose 11lbs

2. Run 100km in one week

3. Do 50 push-ups.  In no more that 3 reps.

How am I doing?

Starting weight (post-camping): 141lbs (I KNOW!!! THE SHAME!!!!!!)
Current weight: 136lbs

I have been running about 50kms a week.  I tried some push-ups and can only manage about 20 before I want to fall down and die.  It wasn't my favourite.  There is definitely much work to do.

Fat pants, I hope never to need you again.  For reals this time.  I will, however, keep you in my closet, if for no other reason, to mock you! For being so ridiculously large! Ha! Only, not yet.  Right now, I still need you......

Only 11 weeks to go!!!

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Weekly Weigh-In

Starting weight: 134.5
Today's weight: 131.2
Goal weight: 124.0
Pounds to go: 7.2

So I thought I would state my goals so I am more accountable!

My "Official Challenge Goal" is to lose 10.5 pounds. 
I would also like to do the following:
Run 10 k - check! (thanks Krista!!!)
Run 15k
Run 20 k
Get back to doing pushups - 25 in a row
No more night-time snacking!
Make at least 3/4 of the Christmas gifts I give this year ( this goes in hand with no more snacks after kid bedtime - if I am busy doing things like exercise and making things, my hands and brain are busy and don't want to eat as many empty calories)
Continue ( okay start) training for a marathon. I am ignorantly optimistic about this one, meaning I think I can do it but have really no idea what my limit is. I am ready to find out!

Tonight is the first 12k run - looking forward to it!

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Suck it In or Suck it Up!

You know the feeling...

... those cute clothes you bought at the start of the summer are a little too tiiight...
... the "look at this muscle" has turned into "I'm sure if I flex right it will show up"...
... admiring your fine self in the mirror has become fleeting glances...
... a drink with dinner has become three while watching T.V...

Just me? Possibly, but probably not entirely;)

So - time for a new challenge. And this time the consequences are going to hurt worse than the pain of getting back on track!

A dry Christmas season. Starting Dec. 1st straight through until the 31st. No imbibing at the Christmas parties. No champagne with your turkey. No booze. No frivolity. No fun.

Here is the challenge: Pick a goal. Weight loss. Distance run. Physical feats of strength. Any of the above. But make it hard. Make it so hard you don't think you will be able to do it and then we will work together to get it done! Do it by Dec 1, and you are free to enjoy your holiday season. Fail and dun dun dun... no booze for yooze!

Last time the group was so successful. We inspired each other to keep going and felt accountable to something bigger than ourselves. It's a sad state that I can't seem to motivate myself if there is not a bigger reward than good health. But at least I have realized it!

So ... are you with me?