Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Cleanse Day 2

Morning weigh-in: 134 lbs
Bedtime weigh-in: 132 lbs

The cleanse is working!


I am not experiencing the cleanse in the way I thought that I would.  No purging.  No emergency bathroom trips.  Nada.

I am experiencing hunger.  And grumpiness.  Oh the great grumpiness.

I love my children but they are making me crazy!!!!! I'm sure that it's not their fault.  It can't be.  Unless they have been swapped for mischievous doppelgangers.  It must be the cleanse.

I am so ready to be done.  I miss salt.  More than caffeine.  More than alcohol.  More than fat or protein or sugar. Oh salt, you are my best friend.  You are my hero. You make all food better!  Come baaaaaack!!!

I had an accidental nap this afternoon.  Cleansing is exhausting.

Two down, one to go!

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Cleanse Day 1 (and a weigh-in)

Monday's weight: 135 (WHAT THE F**K OFF?!?!?)
Tuesday's weight: 136 (You have GOT to be kidding me)

It seems as though I am starting my cleanse back at my starting weight.  Really now.

I'm almost positive the weight gain isn't an actual weight gain.  More of a bloat disaster.  It's Premenstrual Hell Week y'know.

Regardless, it's CLEANSE DAY!!!

Day 1 has been an experience. I drank some things I didn't even know were vegetables in their previous life. I gagged on many a meal.  MANY.

The Good:

I'm not all that hungry
I don't miss food.  No.  Wait.  I do miss food.  I just don't miss it like I thought I would.
Coffee? Shmoffee.  Didn't miss it today.  Ok, only a little.

The Bad:

Cranky.  So much cranky.  The poor children.  Patience left with solid food.  Damn she's fickle!
Slight headache.  Minor but irritating.
I am SO cold.  SO cold. Very very weird.

The Ugly:

Sad sad sick Scott.  Barf bucket sick. The cleanse does not like Scott very much.

The Best:

Spending so much time with Robert and Breanna.

Honestly, suffering together is kinda fun.  It's going to be one of those things that I will never do again but will always remember fondly.  Nothing forges you together like a ridiculous challenge.

Quote of the Day:

From the bathroom

Scott: Aaaahhhhhh

At the kitchen table

Breanna to Krista: Do you want to go check on him?? (insert worried frown)

Krista: Yeeeaahhh......

From the bathroom:

Scott: No! I'm ok! My poo just smells like juice!!! EW!!! 

(Which of course made him gag.  Double ew.)

I suspect Day 2 is going to be a whole hell of a lot worse than Day 1.  At least I can take heart that by lunch time the whole darn thing will be half over!

Monday, October 29, 2012

Monday of Shame

Last week's weigh-in: 135.0lbs
This week's weigh-in: 138.8lbs
Goal weight: 133lbs

So I am not entirely sure what is up (other than my weight). One would think The Weekend of Crazy Candy Consumption would be to blame (and it certainly was a dieting setback), but last week I was already at 138lbs on Thursday, which means less than a pound of change over the weekend. Bloating should no longer be a factor. Perhaps the new medication I am taking is affecting things?

Honestly, it sucks, but I'm also willing just to wait it out and see if it goes back down. My clothes don't fit as if I've gained four pounds, they are still looser than when I started the challenge. All I can really do is try and be hard-core about my diet and exercise.


Weigh -in: 127.8 - darn you bloat! I wish I was still oblivious to your presence as I was for so many happy years!

I have a few pre-cleanse predictions:

First to get grumpy: Robert
Last to get grumpy: Krista
First to cry: Breanna
First to Puke: Scott ( anyone remember the running goo?)

Monday, October 22, 2012

Challenge Complete!

In happier (less whiny) news, I have completed my push-up challenge!!!

Never under estimate my desire to prove myself post fight-with-my-husband!!!

First set: 26
Second set: 15
Third set: 10

Total: 51

I went over by rote.  I forgot that I was done.  Whoops.

I should have timed myself between sets.  There were less than a minute apart.  Just enough time to curse and send the blood scurrying around my body looking for more oxygen.

I may never lift anything again, but it's done. 

I haven't been training outright for this challenge.  I have, however, been Jillian-ing.  And as everyone knows, it's her favourite strength exercise.  How could I not improve?!

Two down, one to go!!

Fat. Fatty fat fat.

I know better than to blog when I am emotional.  I do.  But sometimes I like to ignore that little voice in my head telling me that I should be reasonable.  Because I can.

This week's weight: 134lbs
Goal weight: 130lbs

The weight is still a goal.  Because, according to my very lovely husband "you still have weight you could lose".  Which, he did clarify to say, meant that I am not yet anorexic (actually, the term he used was "growing fur" but I made the leap.).

I know what he's trying to say.  Scott is telling me that:

a) I knew what I was getting into
b) I am disrespecting the integrity of the challenge

But what I hear is that I'm fat.


I know better.  I know that I'm not fat.  My head understands that weight doesn't matter, it's how I feel about my body.  It's that I feel strong and healthy.

My self esteem still hears it.  The dreaded "F" word. 

He didn't tell me I'm fat.  Not exactly.  He went so far as to preface his comments with "I'm not saying that you're fat".  Regardless, hearing the words "You have weight to lose" and "You should keep on losing weight" hurt.  A lot.

It doesn't matter how many time HE tells me that it's not what he was saying.  It doesn't matter how many times I tell myself that that isn't what he was saying.  The echo of the feeling resonates through me.

fat, fat, fat, fat, fat.

I work so hard and (usually) feel so good about myself.  A lot of my healthy body image is comes from the knowledge that Scott finds me attractive.  Well, that, and shopping for clothes!

So, what am I going to do about it?

What? You mean I can't just complain about a problem? I actually need to fix this frickin' mess?


First: I'm going to cry until I feel better.

Second: Diet, diet, diet! And go.

Third: Prioritize.  Make the time, every day, for my diet.  Too frickin' bad if it gets in the way of laundry or dishes.  You wanted me to do this?  I will. (Implied: So there!)

Fourth: If I don't make it, then I don't make it.  Missing one year of drinking at Christmas won't kill me.  I can dd everyone everywhere.  I won't tell anyone why I can't drink and let them think I'm pregnant.

Pity party over.  Mostly.

Monday is Finally Monday Again!

Last week's weigh-in: 136.6lbs
This week's weigh-in: 135.0lbs
Goal weight: 133lbs

Not too bad considering the weekend, although the overall trend over the last 2-3 weeks has been a stable line. Once I have de-bloated by next week, hopefully I will be close to the end of the challenge! (Although Krista's birthday weekend is coming up... better make sure to weigh myself Friday morning!)

I still want to meet my weight goal, so I will not be swapping it out for an exercise goal like we talked about, but I'm totally cool if that's what you guys want to do. I will add a little unofficial exercise goal though just to move some of the focus off the dreaded scale number - I want to be able to touch the ceiling when I do the jump part of burpies. I think I'm about two inches away at this point. (I think our ceilings are 9 feet high).

Unexpected side-effect of Jillian - I am a better dancer! Okay, maybe not better (because I still probably look like a fish out of water having a seizure) but I can do way more jumping and twisting and squatting type moves and not get tired on the dance floor - wearing 3 inch heels! Woo!

Monday weigh-in


thanks to an unfortunate stomach bug but at this point I guess I'll have to take it.

Monday weigh-in


thanks to an unfortunate stomach bug but at this point I guess I'll have to take it.

Friday, October 19, 2012

In Which I Do Not Wax Poetic About My Weight...

But instead share a delicious lunch recipe!

I just ate this - it is a modified Super tuna. But I was getting tired of tuna. SO!

Egg Salad -Salad:

Combine : 2 hard boiled eggs, fresh dill, finely chopped celery and green onion, cucumber and 2Tbsp of Mayo

Place on top of bed of chopped baby spinach and green beans ( I used the marvelous ones from Costco. They have no equal short of homegrown)


I figured since I split the egg salad portion with the baby, it was okay to put in a lot of mayo!
It really didn't even taste like "egg salad" since it was so very crunchy. I am in love with this. So yummy!

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

I think Sunday should have been the new Monday!

Dammit! My friend frienemy the scale needs to go to hell and die. 

Sunday morning: 134lbs
Monday morning: 137lbs
Tuesday morning: 135lbs (after breakfast)

It seems as though I am losing weight.  I feel hungry enough that I should be losing weight.  Sadly, it doesn't always work that way.  Next week should help determine if there is a downward trend.

The good news (when you are an optimist there is always good news!) is that I have been sincerely enjoying getting back together with Jillian.  She is my friend.  Always yelling at me to do that one last push-up, hold that idiot squat for 5 more seconds.

I love feeling strong.  Thanks for that Jills.

Oh! And there's more! I'm not yet tired of salad(s) and soup(s).  The dieters bread and butter, those two. 

Finally, my jeans fit better.  Fat jeans, you are OUT!  Skinny jeans, get ready, I'm coming for you!

Monday Should Have Been the New Tuesday

Last week's weigh-in: 135.4lbs
This week's weigh-in: 136.6lbs
Goal weight: 133lbs

Balls. Although this is up almost a pound from yesterday, so hopefully it is a bit of a spike anomaly in one way or an other.

Clearly, I have not been working very hard. It is so easy to fall back into old habits! Motivation, where did you go? Although when I do get around to doing Jillian, I am enjoying the harder Body Revolution workouts. All the tricky balancing and jumping keeps my focus and makes the time go by a (tiny) bit faster.

Oh well, time to buckle down and see some progress before ruining it all at Krista's birthday celebrations :)

Monday, October 15, 2012

Monday - Update!

Good Morning!

There is lots to talk about today. I got my x-ray results back - no fracture!!! So I am almost 3 weeks into rest, and it is so.much.better. I almost feel like I could run on it. Soon. I just know it!

I weighed in yesterday afternoon instead of last night - good thing too since we had a birthday dinner for my brother and chicken piccata and pumpkin cheesecake brownies are so not diet food. But so worth it - omg you guys they were delicious!!!

Weight: 127.2
Goal: 124
Pounds to go: 3.2

So close! It is the frustrating part where you can see the goal is soclose and yet still S O  F A R away.  Even if I can manage to lose a pound a week (yeah right) it is still 3 weeks of torture.

I have learned that although it is a good way to measure overall change, the trying to hit a certain weight goal is stupid. At least for me. It does keep me motivated but I really could care less about the actual number on the scale. I care most about how strong I feel, and how my clothes fit properly. No weight goal next time - someone remind me!!!

I am loving the No More Trouble Zones Jillian workout. I can do all but a few of the exercises ( surrenders, and the plank twists) but there is no problem just subbing in something else while they do those couple of things. This is the first time I have tried a new workout and have been able to not only keep up, but enjoy it. Usually I am practically dying or falling over ( due to lack of fitness and overall clumsiness). But I can keep up and have already gone up to a heavier weight for a bunch of the moves! So yay Jillian!

On an unrelated note - I am a sneaky soup genius. My kids think they only like canned tomato soup (okay in a pinch but really? homemade is sooooooo much better!) So I served then minestrone, and the claimed it was yucky. Then! I blended it up, added a drop of cream et voila! They ate it. Haha children I am smarter than you (at least for now!)

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Delicious Mayo-less Chicken Salad

I ate this on a bed of baby spinach. Yum! Go Jillian recipes!


If Tuesday is the new Monday, what does that make Wednesday?

Weekly update time

Starting Weight: 141lbs
Goal Weight: 130lbs
Last Week's Weight: 139lbs
Current Weight: 135lbs

The great swing up in weight has an explanation.  Seriously.  Because I didn't gain 3lbs and then lose 4lbs this past week. 

My dearest Aunt Flo paid me a visit on Tuesday and whisked away all the lovely water I have been carrying around with me. In my body!

It occurred to me (and by "it occurred to me" I really mean "Scott pointed it out") that I am screwed.  So. Very. Screwed.  I have 7.5 weeks to lose the remaining weight.  That's it.  Five pounds in less than 2 months.

And if you consider that my birthday is a short 2 and a half weeks away, AND that I don't have any intention of spending my birthday hungry and sweaty, it actually means that I have 6.5 weeks to lose 5lbs.


Alright.  So what does that mean for me?

1. Exercise.  Every single freaking day.
2. No more cheating.  For real this time.
3. Only 1 day a week of drinking.  Oh, alcohol, I will miss you.
4. Water, water and more water.

It's not that I don't love to exercise.  Honestly, I do.  It makes me happy and it makes me feel strong.  One of my favourite activities. What I dislike is feeling like I HAVE to.

Welcome to my bossy personality!

Tell me that I can do something if I want to?  
Suuuuuure! Sounds great!!

Tell me that I HAVE to do something?
Oh hell no! You think YOU can make me do something?!?! Good luck with that one.

To add to this ridiculousness is that I am telling myself that I have to do something.  Clearly I need to consult Scott on methods of Krista Manipulation!

Is it possible to meet my goal? Yes.  Is it even probable? Yes.  Is it going to be a rough 7.5 weeks? Goodness me, YES.

Here we go..... for reals this time!

Running Song of the Week

This isn't new.  But it is one of my favourites.  I never (ever!) skip it when it's soothing melody floats over my earbuds.  Makes me happy. Enjoy!

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

If No News Was Good News, I Would have Nothing to Say

Which is my roundabout way of saying I have nothing good to report.

A quick trip to the doctor has resulted in the following:

- a theory I have strained a tendon = 6 week recovery
- a possibility I have fractured my fibula = 6 week recovery
- an x-ray req. to check which stellar option I have won
- a prescription for Naproxen, to help with healing and inflammation = no alcohol for 2 weeks.

Ya, you read that right. I am paying 1/2 the consequence in advance even though I haven't failed yet! What the what? It should however, help me to lose the rest of the weight and then I can be done this silly endeavor.

I have modified my exercise, since I can't really use my right hand ( see post about my springtime stupidity), and now can't use my right ankle. So I do a lot of abs. Let's hope they are awesome soon!

On the plus side (or minus side?) I am down to 128.4lbs - only 4.4 lbs to go!

I have every intention of running again. As soon as I can roll over in bed, or make it up the stairs without wincing. You should hear the story about how I tripped over a fan carrying the baby in the dark, and then couldn't get back up. Or not. It's kind of depressing...

Tuesday is the New Monday

Last week's weigh-in: 135.6lbs
This week's weigh-in: 135.4lbs
Goal weight: 133lbs

I'm not really sure if the lack of change is my failure to properly encorporate the new meal plan rules into my diet or because of Thanksgiving weekend which included four less-than-ideal meals. I did avoid all alcohol though, to many comments of "Why aren't you drinking?" and "It's Thanksgiving dinner, I wouldn't ruin it by drinking water instead of wine."

Also, when I brought up the fact that I am trying to eat more whole foods and being strict with my diet to lose what I've recently gained and learn to maintain my weight, all I met was criticism. "You shouldn't be dieting, you're already too skinny." "You have no fat to lose." "It's unhealthy to be too thin." et cetera. I even got eye rolls when I said one reason we were late was because I exercised that morning.

Screw you people, I'm going home.

I know most of it is misunderstanding - of course when I wear flattering clothing and am clearly the thinnest person in the room it looks like I am the last person who should be dieting. A big part of it is them justifying their own guilt for not bettering their own body like they wish they could. But, as Moose said, it would be nice to just once get the response of, "Yeah, it is hard work to maintain a nice figure. Good for you for trying to eat healthier and keep fit."

Oh well. It's my life, not theirs. I will simply continue on my way and feel good for "winning" at every family event.

Monday, October 8, 2012

They call it a Challenge.....

 Because if it was easy they would call it FUN!

I didn't mean to complete my 100km in a week this week.  It was an accident.  I had an "ah ha!' moment on day 4 (running a million km down Benjamin against the wind will do that to you) that if I could keep going at this rate I would complete the challenge.  Huh.  Gotta love doing half the work before you know what you're in for!

It didn't go as I had planned (does anything? ever?).  I had GREAT plans. I was going to run to end the challenge on my birthday.  On the days Henry was home from school I was going to run 10 km in the morning and then another 5 km in the evening.  I would run 15 km on my own the other days of the week. When I got to the last day (my birthday!), I would only have 10km left to do! I would breeze through it! I would line up running partners to help me along! I would take pictures! It would be amazing!!!

Instead? By accident? Seriously?

Here's the breakdown.  I'm very sure that no one cares about my routes or my distances.  Too bad! It was hard and you should be in awe! Also, I like that I will be able to look back and wax poetic regarding my athleticism.

Run #1 (14.4 km) Tuesday October 2 2012

This was ridiculous.  Scott decided that we should have a "date" and walk on our run to Sandvine.  And hold hands.  And chat.  Hence the weird gap in my should-be-a-loop. I didn't count the distance we walked.  I feel as though I could have.  If I had to walk mid-run, I would count that distance.  Regardless, I feel if I'm going to finish a challenge I should do it clean, therefore the aforementioned gap.  It was a really really nice run.  Pre-knowing-I-was-completing-the-challenge and just for fun. 

Run #2 (10.1 km) Wednesday October 3 2012

This was a run in the rain.  I inhaled a raindrop right up my nose.  That was incredibly unpleasant!! Snorting water isn't my best choice.  This is my usual 10km route.  It's the best run of this distance around our house.  Only one big hill, lots of countryside views and I can always cut it short to 7km if I'm feeling lazy!

Run #3 (15.3 km) Thursday October 4 2012

I love love love this run.  To Sandvine with Scott.  Stop and chat (and kiss goodbye despite the sweaty-ness). Run 10 km home.  I never feel overwhelmed by the distance and have company for 1/3 of the way.  Win win!

Run #4 (16.5km) Friday October 5 2012

Omg, the evil Benjamin run.  The wind is always intense on the longest stretch (down Benjamin past the tree farm) of this loop.  So intense that when the wind broke briefly, I almost fell on my face for pushing too far forward.  Ridiculous. This is when I realized I could complete my 100km if I kept up this pace.  Only three days left! I could do it! It's even a long weekend.  No problem.

Ha! Sometimes I am such an idiot.

Run #5 (15.8 km) Saturday October 6 2012

I picked this route to avoid Benjamin.  No, seriously.  The wind and the long long long-ness of it was too much to contemplate when I was that tired.  So tired.  And hungry.  Running is hard.  And then I had to run the loop backwards to avoid Whore Hill.  That IS really (and truly) it's name.  I get to go down on Whore Hill.  (Always funny!) instead of up.  Gravity is friendly when it's on your side. 

Run #6 (15.8 km) Sunday October 8 2012

Worst. Run. Of. My. Life. 

Worse than the time I hurt my hip and cried all the way home. 

Worse than the time my ibs acted up and I had to run so very slowly to avoid pooping myself. 

Worse than the time I did almost poop myself and instead headed off road and shit in the snow.  The snow melted and the shit steamed.

Worse than the time I had to stop at the gas station and cried to the man that I didn't have any money but could I please use the facilities.  

I take it that you get the picture.  It was cold.  It was pouring rain.  And I was tired.  So tired.  My legs felt like lead.  My body hurt.  I whimpered my way through the run.  I had to talk myself up the hills (it's ok it's ok it's ok it's ok it's ok.....).  For a while I thought I had hurt my knees.  Every time I took a step there was a horrible cold needle pain.  Oh no! How could I complete the challenge?

Until I realized that it wasn't an injury, it was my knees driving into the rain! I am so dumb sometimes!

I called Scott on Bisch to ask him to run me a bath.  I needed something to look forward to when I finally made it home.

Best Husband Ever had the bath ready, rotated the tv (so I could see it from the bath!) and brought me towel so I could dry my hands to use the remote.  I have never loved him more.

Run #7 (15.8 km) Monday October 9 2012

Same route. Much better experience!

It was probabably the 10.5 hours of sleep and the extra meal I ate before bed!

Poor Scott! I dragged him downstairs at 11:30pm  (after we were all tucked in!) to make me some food!! Secret extra meal! After turkey deliciousness. My poor body is so confused with all of the running.

Regardless, the food, the sleep and the running partner (yay Scott!!) made my final 16km a non-horrible experience.

It is a miracle that I am not injured.  The worst of it was a tiny cut on one of my toes.  I know, poor me!

I am so proud.  The total for the week comes to 103.7 km.  I feel as though marathon training is possible.  This is almost 2.5 marathons for the week.  Running a full one isn't outside the realm of possibility!!!

What have I learned? 

1. Running is hard.  I am exhausted.
2. Running is hungry.  I am always hungry.
3.  I have a very supportive husband.  Scott rocks.
4. My body is robust.  While tired and hungry, there is nothing else wrong with me.
5. I like running even when I hate it.  The only time I felt well on Saturday is when I was out and running.
6. No one else cares about running.  I told everyone I know that I was headed towards 100 km this week.  It wasn't relevant to pretty much anyone! Which is fair.  I don't really care how far anyone else can skate/swim/ski/power walk. 
7. I would rather watch poker on tv than run in the cold rain.  Lame.

Best part? I will never have to do it again if I don't want to!!!!!

One challenge down, two to go!

Monday, October 1, 2012

Monday...dun dun dunnnnn...

Starting weight: 134.5
Today's weight: 129.5
Goal weight: 124.0
Pounds to go: 6.5

So last week I managed to get back on track simply by eating very healthy and not snacking. At all. Ask my kids how much fun that was for them. Actually, do us all a favour and don't!
But! It did make me realize how much leeway I give myself when I exercise. Oh sure I can eat that - I will just run it off later! Or not. So that was a good lesson. This week I am hoping to start back up running and yoga and Jillian, ankle permitting. It still hurts but not nearly as bad.

Side note: I do not consider myself a wuss. I never take sick days ( 2 in 5 years!), I don't let myself feel sorry for myself and I really don't like not being able to do things. Frig, I was walking around hours after giving birth. But I cannot believe how much this hurts! I actually with there was a bruise, or swelling or SOMETHING!!!! so I don't feel like such a ninny. GAH. I also hate. hate. hate. feeling like I am letting someone down in a commitment. SO I am getting back in my (NEW!!!) shoes and getting out there!

Goal update:
Run 10 k 
Run 15k
Run 20 k - God I hope so!! Maybe in 3 weeks?????
Get back to doing pushups - 25 in a row - ummm. So my hand is still really sore. I can do about 3-5 then it feels like my right thumb is going to explode. Working on it. Doubt I will get there :(
No more night-time snacking!  My secret is to have Rob watch me or eat dinner late and go to bed early. I know it's kind of cheating but i haven't snacked in weeks!!!!!
Make at least 3/4 of the Christmas gifts I give this year- I have a plan - it should get underway once I finish Halloween costumes!
Continue ( okay start) training for a marathon.- working on getting back at it :)

Weekly Weigh-In (#1)

Last week's weigh-in: 141.8lbs
This week's weigh-in: 135.6lbs
Goal weight: 133lbs

Let me start by saying this drop definitely includes bloating, which is usually about 2lbs for me. Even still, 4.2 pounds is a lot in one week. So what happened?

Well, remember my first post where I was all whiny and frustrated with dieting? Yeah, before this past week I had no motivation to diet and was sick of a lot of my diet foods. So I let myself eat whatever I wanted, because if dieting was going to make me miserable and I didn't care about my weight, what was the point? I ate McDonald's fries, Blizzards, chocolate, chip truck poutine, brownies, and pie. And it didn't make me feel better. At all.

Then Moose's family came up for the weekend. I ate okay but still had dessert and alcohol. Moose's mom looked at a recent picture of us on a phone and asked "Who's the pregnant woman?"


I jokingly said, "Well, now I know it's really time to diet." But at that moment, I was suddenly motivated again. (She also thought Moose was some random Asian guy, so I can't be TOO offended.)

So, how to change my diet foods. Well, I have this handy recipe booklet from Jillian that goes along with the Body Revolution workouts. Week 1: Boost Your Metabolism. For one week, eat no flour, sugar, or fruit. NO prepackaged, fake foods. Follow her simple recipes for egg breakfasts, soup or salad lunches, yogurt or hummus snacks, and meat and vegetable dinners. Okay, I can do that.

Obviously, I had good results. I'm a bad test case though, because I made a lot of substitutions for the fish and vegetables I don't like. But I followed the recipes in spirit, didn't cheat, and did so-so on the exercise part. She warned that you may be tired and headache-y from the sudden lack of sugars and carbs. Yes I was, but was that from the food or my sleeping disorder and menstruation side-effects? Who knows.

Anyway, this was a successful start to dieting. I am a little worried about moving into a broader range of food again. I plan to mix Jillian meals with my old diet food. Jillian's meals for the rest of the 90 days are much less strict, but I'm a really picky eater, especially with the dinners. Hopefully I don't fall into my old habits - too many carbs and sweet fruits, not enough variety in meat and vegetables. But my shopping list is nearly unrecognizable, so it looks like a good start!