In happier (less whiny) news, I have completed my push-up challenge!!!
Never under estimate my desire to prove myself post fight-with-my-husband!!!
First set: 26
Second set: 15
Third set: 10
Total: 51
I went over by rote. I forgot that I was done. Whoops.
I should have timed myself between sets. There were less than a minute apart. Just enough time to curse and send the blood scurrying around my body looking for more oxygen.
I may never lift anything again, but it's done.
I haven't been training outright for this challenge. I have, however, been Jillian-ing. And as everyone knows, it's her favourite strength exercise. How could I not improve?!
Two down, one to go!!
Showing posts with label Goals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Goals. Show all posts
Monday, October 22, 2012
Fat. Fatty fat fat.
I know better than to blog when I am emotional. I do. But sometimes I like to ignore that little voice in my head telling me that I should be reasonable. Because I can.
This week's weight: 134lbs
Goal weight: 130lbs
The weight is still a goal. Because, according to my very lovely husband "you still have weight you could lose". Which, he did clarify to say, meant that I am not yet anorexic (actually, the term he used was "growing fur" but I made the leap.).
I know what he's trying to say. Scott is telling me that:
a) I knew what I was getting into
b) I am disrespecting the integrity of the challenge
But what I hear is that I'm fat.
FAT.
I know better. I know that I'm not fat. My head understands that weight doesn't matter, it's how I feel about my body. It's that I feel strong and healthy.
My self esteem still hears it. The dreaded "F" word.
He didn't tell me I'm fat. Not exactly. He went so far as to preface his comments with "I'm not saying that you're fat". Regardless, hearing the words "You have weight to lose" and "You should keep on losing weight" hurt. A lot.
It doesn't matter how many time HE tells me that it's not what he was saying. It doesn't matter how many times I tell myself that that isn't what he was saying. The echo of the feeling resonates through me.
fat, fat, fat, fat, fat.
I work so hard and (usually) feel so good about myself. A lot of my healthy body image is comes from the knowledge that Scott finds me attractive. Well, that, and shopping for clothes!
So, what am I going to do about it?
What? You mean I can't just complain about a problem? I actually need to fix this frickin' mess?
Fine.
First: I'm going to cry until I feel better.
Second: Diet, diet, diet! And go.
Third: Prioritize. Make the time, every day, for my diet. Too frickin' bad if it gets in the way of laundry or dishes. You wanted me to do this? I will. (Implied: So there!)
Fourth: If I don't make it, then I don't make it. Missing one year of drinking at Christmas won't kill me. I can dd everyone everywhere. I won't tell anyone why I can't drink and let them think I'm pregnant.
Pity party over. Mostly.
This week's weight: 134lbs
Goal weight: 130lbs
The weight is still a goal. Because, according to my very lovely husband "you still have weight you could lose". Which, he did clarify to say, meant that I am not yet anorexic (actually, the term he used was "growing fur" but I made the leap.).
I know what he's trying to say. Scott is telling me that:
a) I knew what I was getting into
b) I am disrespecting the integrity of the challenge
But what I hear is that I'm fat.
FAT.
I know better. I know that I'm not fat. My head understands that weight doesn't matter, it's how I feel about my body. It's that I feel strong and healthy.
My self esteem still hears it. The dreaded "F" word.
He didn't tell me I'm fat. Not exactly. He went so far as to preface his comments with "I'm not saying that you're fat". Regardless, hearing the words "You have weight to lose" and "You should keep on losing weight" hurt. A lot.
It doesn't matter how many time HE tells me that it's not what he was saying. It doesn't matter how many times I tell myself that that isn't what he was saying. The echo of the feeling resonates through me.
fat, fat, fat, fat, fat.
I work so hard and (usually) feel so good about myself. A lot of my healthy body image is comes from the knowledge that Scott finds me attractive. Well, that, and shopping for clothes!
So, what am I going to do about it?
What? You mean I can't just complain about a problem? I actually need to fix this frickin' mess?
Fine.
First: I'm going to cry until I feel better.
Second: Diet, diet, diet! And go.
Third: Prioritize. Make the time, every day, for my diet. Too frickin' bad if it gets in the way of laundry or dishes. You wanted me to do this? I will. (Implied: So there!)
Fourth: If I don't make it, then I don't make it. Missing one year of drinking at Christmas won't kill me. I can dd everyone everywhere. I won't tell anyone why I can't drink and let them think I'm pregnant.
Pity party over. Mostly.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Starting the Diet - AGAIN
My rule is when I hit 140 on the scale, I have to diet. No choice, sucka. Not allowed to go up a pant size ever again.
I hit 140lbs in June. I "started" dieting several times. I did not lose any weight. Finally I had two successful weeks of dieting before camping. Then I gained back what I lost. I hit 142 point something after camping.
Finally, two weeks after camping, the real dieting started again.
My official goal is 133lbs. It is an "easy" and simple goal. I don't have the drive to do the hard goal like in the spring.
I am using Jillian Michael's Body Revolution to help me achieve this goal, as well as rock climbing and biking (for as long as weather permits). I can't decide whether to try following Jillian's meal plan or not. So many foods I don't like... (fish, vegetables!) I don't know if I could do it. But my diet food probably needs a reboot.
My unofficial goals need work. They are not easily measurable and seemingly unattainable. Those are pretty bad qualities for goals.
#1: 130lbs (and stay there!).
I hit it once, for about 3 days. It was so hard, and I felt like the only way to maintain it was to make dieting my forever way of eating (no junk or booze, ever). But any higher than this and I feel like I still need to lose weight.
#2: Have a flat stomach.
I was at 130lbs. I finished Jillian's Six Weeks Six Pack (even did levels 1&2 back to back). I could feel all the muscles (and still can!), but I still didn't have a flat stomach. What else to do? Is it simply not possible?
#3: Stop needing to diet 1 month after finishing dieting.
Every time I diet, I immediately gain back 2 lbs the week after I finish because I can't help gorging. Then I slowly gain weight for the next couple months and hit my max weight again. Then I need to diet. AGAIN. I am so sick of constantly needing to diet, of every family event saying, "Yeah, I'm dieting again."
When I gain weight after a weekend of indulgence or a vacation, I want to lose the weight right away and get back to my goal weight. After a vacation, Moose simply doesn't indulge (but doesn't eat diet food) and falls back to his previous weight. If I go back to consistent healthy-ish foods and exercise, I will simply maintain my new weight. How do I fix my body's metabolism? How do I reset my body's comfortable weight? Is the only option dieting for a week after one day of drinking or dessert? That's still constant dieting!
Hurumph I say.
I hit 140lbs in June. I "started" dieting several times. I did not lose any weight. Finally I had two successful weeks of dieting before camping. Then I gained back what I lost. I hit 142 point something after camping.
Finally, two weeks after camping, the real dieting started again.
My official goal is 133lbs. It is an "easy" and simple goal. I don't have the drive to do the hard goal like in the spring.
I am using Jillian Michael's Body Revolution to help me achieve this goal, as well as rock climbing and biking (for as long as weather permits). I can't decide whether to try following Jillian's meal plan or not. So many foods I don't like... (fish, vegetables!) I don't know if I could do it. But my diet food probably needs a reboot.
My unofficial goals need work. They are not easily measurable and seemingly unattainable. Those are pretty bad qualities for goals.
#1: 130lbs (and stay there!).
I hit it once, for about 3 days. It was so hard, and I felt like the only way to maintain it was to make dieting my forever way of eating (no junk or booze, ever). But any higher than this and I feel like I still need to lose weight.
#2: Have a flat stomach.
I was at 130lbs. I finished Jillian's Six Weeks Six Pack (even did levels 1&2 back to back). I could feel all the muscles (and still can!), but I still didn't have a flat stomach. What else to do? Is it simply not possible?
#3: Stop needing to diet 1 month after finishing dieting.
Every time I diet, I immediately gain back 2 lbs the week after I finish because I can't help gorging. Then I slowly gain weight for the next couple months and hit my max weight again. Then I need to diet. AGAIN. I am so sick of constantly needing to diet, of every family event saying, "Yeah, I'm dieting again."
When I gain weight after a weekend of indulgence or a vacation, I want to lose the weight right away and get back to my goal weight. After a vacation, Moose simply doesn't indulge (but doesn't eat diet food) and falls back to his previous weight. If I go back to consistent healthy-ish foods and exercise, I will simply maintain my new weight. How do I fix my body's metabolism? How do I reset my body's comfortable weight? Is the only option dieting for a week after one day of drinking or dessert? That's still constant dieting!
Hurumph I say.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Natural Consequences
Oh the shame.
Question: What happens when you spend 2 months eating whatever you want, drinking on a whim and not excercising? Not even one iota?
Answer: A cruel relationship with your bathroom scale.
I hit my highest weight this summer in, um, ever. Ok, fine, so that's a bald face lie. I hit my highest weight since losing all the baby weight. Four years ago.
Balls.
Clearly a weight loss blog was just what I needed (thank you Breanna!).
Goals:
1. Lose 11lbs
2. Run 100km in one week
3. Do 50 push-ups. In no more that 3 reps.
How am I doing?
Starting weight (post-camping): 141lbs (I KNOW!!! THE SHAME!!!!!!)
Current weight: 136lbs
I have been running about 50kms a week. I tried some push-ups and can only manage about 20 before I want to fall down and die. It wasn't my favourite. There is definitely much work to do.
Fat pants, I hope never to need you again. For reals this time. I will, however, keep you in my closet, if for no other reason, to mock you! For being so ridiculously large! Ha! Only, not yet. Right now, I still need you......
Only 11 weeks to go!!!
Question: What happens when you spend 2 months eating whatever you want, drinking on a whim and not excercising? Not even one iota?
Answer: A cruel relationship with your bathroom scale.
I hit my highest weight this summer in, um, ever. Ok, fine, so that's a bald face lie. I hit my highest weight since losing all the baby weight. Four years ago.
Balls.
Clearly a weight loss blog was just what I needed (thank you Breanna!).
Goals:
1. Lose 11lbs
2. Run 100km in one week
3. Do 50 push-ups. In no more that 3 reps.
How am I doing?
Starting weight (post-camping): 141lbs (I KNOW!!! THE SHAME!!!!!!)
Current weight: 136lbs
I have been running about 50kms a week. I tried some push-ups and can only manage about 20 before I want to fall down and die. It wasn't my favourite. There is definitely much work to do.
Fat pants, I hope never to need you again. For reals this time. I will, however, keep you in my closet, if for no other reason, to mock you! For being so ridiculously large! Ha! Only, not yet. Right now, I still need you......
Only 11 weeks to go!!!
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